Starvix's Metal Nanny
by Project Starvix
Summary: After some extensive overhauling, Eggman gets his Eggafier Ray (Which still has nothing to do with eggs) primed and ready to infantize Sonic and his friends. And this time, he suceeds! But to make matters worse, after he toddlerized them, Metal Sonic finds he has to watch them! 12 toddlers are bad enough, but poor Metal Sonic's only help is Shadow Android and Robo Knuckles!
1. Chapter 1

Reagan: Here we go, straight from memory! Definitely a new phrasing of "taking a dump". Grammar edited by Tloj. Tune in tomorrow for the finale: Metal, We Toddlerized Ourselves, by Starvix.

* * *

Story Notes:

For those who might have read this on Fan Fiction, I made a change concerning Robo Knuckles' name. When putting it up on , I used the name Metal Knuckles, as both the Fan Fiction sight and the official Sonicwiki stated that was the official name for the character. In this site, and for most fans, however, he is known as Robo Knuckles; no matter what name you use it is the same character...which kind of makes his personality glitches funnier when you think about how he is normally portrayed.

Author's Chapter Notes:

I do not own anything in this story save the plot, the personality changes in the three robots, Maria the Dark Chao, and Zombie the Mixed Breed Chao. This story is in first person, Metal Sonic's POV.

* * *

"Finally! All of my preparations are complete. And it's about time." my inventor, the scientist known as Dr. Eggman muttered to himself as he put the finishing touches on his invention. "I'm not getting any younger, and Eggman Land isn't going to dominate itself."

I wished not for the first time that my electronic eyes were capable of being rolled. My Master—by name only, I was always looking for a chance to free myself from the loser—must create some bonehead scheme every three months or so.

Usually involving complicated devices that broke at a critical moment or mechanical robots all inexplicably named after egg products.

"Do you know what this is, Metal Sonic?" Eggman asked me, lifting what appeared to be a Tiny Tots Toy Soldier Plastic Water Gun.

"Analysis terms it a harmless toy commonly used for mindless, childish amusement," I said a monotone. This was extremely boring, and I really wished I didn't have to be here.

"Oh, well, Mr. I'm-So-Smart, you're wrong." Eggman gave me a condescending smile and continued. "When my Eggafier Ray failed, I realized it was because it was too big! Too bulky! Sonic could see it coming a mile away! This," he raised the toy gun high in the air. "This will take care of that problem!"

"You intend to squirt the hedgehog to death, Master?" Robo Knuckles asked, sounding confused.

"What? No, you twit!" Eggman snapped at the machine. "I modified it, into a MINI Eggafier Ray! One for each of you. Ho, ho, ho, ho!" Eggman finally stopped laughing and handed a Mini Eggafier Ray to me and the others.

"You three," Eggman ordered, "are to use this on EVERY person who has knowingly aided Sonic against me, as well as Sonic himself, and bring them to me."

"Why not just eradicate them, Master?" asked Shadow Android.

"Because, if you kill them, I can't raise them to be my evil minions and help me take over the world. But you wouldn't know that, because you're an idiot, aren't you?" Eggman didn't wait for Shadow Android's answer. "Now get going!"

Not for the first time, I mentally cursed my lot in life and went to do my Master's bidding.

Our first stop was at Central City. Several of Sonic's allies hung around that area, so it was a logical first stop. I perched myself on top of a building and scanned the area.

"Target found: Rose, Amy. Bat, Rouge. Hedgehog, Shadow. Rabbit, Cream. Commencing capture procedures."

Robo Knuckles went after Rouge. Shadow Android took off after his organic double. That left me with Amy Rose and Cream.

I took the stupid water gun Eggman insisted I use and went to work. I knew where Amy was heading; towards Sonic the Hedgehog's house. That was always where she was heading whenever I had to kidnap her. She never changes her route, or the time when she goes. And yet, she cannot seem to understand why I always know where to wait in ambush in order to capture her.

Even more fortunate, today Cream was with her.

Amy Rose never even realized she was in danger until it was too late. A pinkish/white glow surrounded her and her friend, and before either of them knew what happened, they had both been reduced to a toddler's state.

I admit, it was a pleasant surprise to see one of Eggman's inventions actually working for once. Even if it was a stupid squirty toy. I flew to the ground and picked up the toddlers. Amy was screaming and struggling to get away, but Cream was simply content to be allowed to take that stupid Chao of hers with her and gave me no trouble.

Whose retarded idea was it to name that thing Cheese, anyway?

But, back to the topic at hand. Toddler Amy is much easier to drag off than Adult Amy was. That was logical, but somehow, she still has that stupid hammer of hers. Only it was small and made out of plastic. Where on earth does she keep those things?!

I took my prize to a pre-set containment unit inside Eggman's latest base that would hold the children indefinitely. While I was there, Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android returned, each carrying an infant version of their target.

Baby Rouge was calm, as if she was trying to analyze her new predicament. Baby Shadow, however…

"I am in need of assistance," Shadow Android pleaded. "He won't stop kicking my servo motors, and his pet Chao is eating my outer covering!"

Of course, my help would have to be incompetent. I gave a mechanical version of a sigh and pried the screaming, kicking Shadow off of the android, while Robo Knuckles somehow managed to get the Chao off of the machine. The Chao instantly started chowing down on Robo Knuckles, who started shrieking like a boiling tea kettle.

"Get it off me! Get it off me!"

"Hold still, Robo Knuckles," Shadow Android ordered, powering up his ion cannon. "I bet I can nail it."

"Wait! Where are you pointing that thing?" Robo Knuckles asked. "You are going to fry my internal sensors, you dingbat! Point that thing somewhere else!"

Shadow, still in my arms, started screaming louder. "Weave Mawia awone! Weave Mawia awone!"

"Call your pet to you, and I assure you that neither of you will be harmed."

Shadow stopped struggling for a second, a confused, 'what the heck are you talking about?' look on his face.

I sighed again and quickly scanned my internal files on young children. I found a statement that would convey my message. "Can you make Maria come to you?"

"Uh-huh," Shadow said.

"Then have her come to you, and I won't let them give her any…" I paused and searched again for any suitable substitutes for the next word. There wasn't any. I closed my optics and said it. "Boo-boos."

Shadow's face lit up with understanding, and he called, "Mawia! I wanties you! Comey mes, Mawia!"

Maria obediently released Robo Knuckles and flew to her owner, who grabbed her. They were both placed in the containment unit with the other two children.

Then we were off looking for other allies of Sonic.

Robo Knuckles headed towards Angel Island, stating he would soon return with his organic doppelganger in tow. Shadow Android headed towards the Chaotix Detective Agency. And I started looking for the organic Sonic the Hedgehog.

The sooner we ended this search, the better.

I found my counterpart taking a nap in a field of flowers. It made it pathetically easy to infantize him. Still, it was for the best, because if Sonic had actually been awake, I probably would not have been able to zap him.

As I landed to claim the now very small child, Sonic's eyes opened. He looked at me interestedly.

"You are to come with me," I ordered.

"Why?" asked Baby Sonic, cocking his head to the side, a puzzled expression on his face.

"You have no choice," I continued, inching closer to the child. "Come quietly, and perhaps you will be rewarded. Try to escape, and punishment will be issued."

Sonic gave me a look that reminded me of the look Shadow had given me. "Wha's is you?" he asked finally.

"I am an artificially created android, capable of defeating entire legions of soldiers. I am the ultimate being in existence. My designation is Mecha Bot 02, a.k.a. Metal Sonic."

Sonic blinked slowly. "You is shiny!" he contradicted.

I stopped for a second. My databanks confirmed that to the mind of a small child, like Sonic now was, I really was little more than a large, shiny guy.

"That is technically correct, however, my function is much more complicated than that. Now, I have orders to…"

That was as far as I got, for Sonic the Hedgehog gave me a huge hug. "I wikey you, Shiny. You is good."

"…." How on earth am I supposed to respond to such a statement? I disregarded it and decided to simply carry out my primary goal. I picked the happy toddler up and took him back to the containment unit. (If I didn't know better, it really looked to me like Eggman had gone and bought a really big playpen, set it up, and told us to put kids in it. Then again, maybe he did.)

I found Knuckles the Echidna, Vector Crocodile, Charmy Bee, and Espio the Chameleon, all children and already inside the unit, along with Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android standing outside it.

"Is this all of them?" I asked.

"Nope," Robo Knuckles replied. "There's still the fox. His last known location was in the Mystic Ruins. It's dark and creepy there."

"And the fox is scary smart," Shadow Android added. "So we thought you might like to come with us?"

If I had a mouth, my jaw would have dropped in amazement. I thought Eggman had fixed that personality glitch those two ingrates had! However, it seemed the doctor was incapable of even doing that small thing right.

"Fine. Just so we can finally complete this idiotic mission," I agreed.

Get this. Robo Knuckles jumped with glee and Shadow Android clapped his hands.

"Hooray!" said Robo Knuckles. "Let's rocky road!"

"It's 'rock and roll'. Rocky road is an ice cream flavor," corrected Shadow Android.

"Yeah, but it's also a neat catchphrase," insisted Robo Knuckles.

"No, it is not."

"Hey, Metal Sonic? Is Rocky Road a neat catchphrase?"

I ignored them both, instead starting for Mystic Ruins. It is beyond my capacity to explain why Eggman would want toddlers. He's already got two of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Chapter Notes:

I do not own any Sonic characters save Maria and Zombie, and the personality 'glitches' in the three robots. (Betcha didn't know Robo Knuckles could jump for joy, did ya?)

* * *

Fact: Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android waited for me so we could go to Mystic Ruins together.

Fact: Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android begged me to go to Mystic Ruins with them.

Question: Then why the heck am I all alone, and where did those two yahoos run off too?

I sighed again and went looking for them. The story of my life.

I found the two slackers sitting on top of the Central City First National Bank, looking down at the cars.

"An Isuzu," Robo Knuckles said as one passed.

"Actually, that one's a Ford Focus."

"Oh. Oh, look, an Isuzu!"

"No, that's a 1993 Honda Civic."

"I knew that. Ooh, an Isuzu!"

"Good grief, man, that's a Shelby Mustang GT 500! What's WRONG with you!?"

"Well, excuse me for not knowing a Shelled Horse from a Focused Civic! I just figured if I said the same car type over and over I was bound to be right sometime," Robo Knuckles pouted.

"Not if you keep saying Isuzu. This is a college town. Driving an Isuzu is like putting a 'kick me, I'm a dork' sign on the back of your head."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Car Heretic!"

"Isuzu Hater!"

Figures they'd be doing something like this. It's completely unimportant and totally unrelated to the one thing we're supposed to be doing.

"Get over here!" I snapped at the two, and they twirled around like I'd caught them with their hands shoved elbow-deep in a cookie jar.

"Metal Sonic!" Shadow Android's eye conduits seemed to widen. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough, Isuzu Hater," I told him. "You and Car Heretic over there get your metal hulls back to your job! We still have to go get that fox kid."

"Oh," Robo Knuckles sighed and stood up. "I was hoping you'd forget. Hey look, an Isuzu!"

Shadow Android hissed through his voice box. "That's a Corvette, you twit!"

Mystic Ruins. We'd finally made it. One more step closer to ending this stupid search and getting on with the pitiful excuse for a life I have.

One good thing would be that I would no longer have to put up with Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android.

"OK, Prower should be in his workshop. It's right about…"

Shadow Android was cut of by a loud crash, like the sound of a glass breaking, and Tails Prower's unmistakable voice shrieking, "Big! What on earth do you think you're doing!?"

A deeper, sleepy sounding voice responded by saying, "Froggy? Where did you go, Froggy?"

Hmm. We were looking for a fox kit named Miles Prower, not 'Froggy'. Still, it sounded like the intended target, so perhaps he was there with the so-called 'Big' and 'Froggy.' It was worth investigating.

I motioned for Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android to get their baby guns out and to quietly advance to the house.

I went ahead and scouted the area through the window. There was Prower, right where he was supposed to be. He looked frazzled and sleep-deprived, and was currently trying to catch a little frog that was knocking over several expensive-looking pieces of equipment. With him was a massively large purple cat, who was doing just as much damage as the little frog was.

"Not again, Big!" Prower screeched. "I just managed to sort everything out from the last time!"

"FROOOOOOOGGGGGGYYYYY!" Yelled Big, not the least bit concerned about Prower's personal artifacts or his opinions of the cat's actions.

I raised my gun and prepared to fire, lining up the perfect shot of the frustrated kitsune.

Before I could shoot, however, a whitish/pink glow entered the room and hit Big the Cat, who turned into a baby right in front of the shocked fox's eyes!

Curse those incompetent fools! They got the wrong guy, and now Tails is on to us!

"Big? What the…" Tails looked up and made eye contact with me. His eyes widened and he stumbled back. "You! What are you doing here?!"

I quickly fired a hasty shot at him, but he was lightning fast and was able to dodge it. It stood to reason; he was able to keep up with Sonic the Hedgehog, after all.

Big the Cat looked around. "Hey! Ever'in' bigger!" he said in a higher, childlike pitch. "But where Fwoggy?"

Amazingly, it seemed that being infantized hadn't changed his IQ level or his personal goals one iota.

However, I had no time to ascertain the intelligence (Or lack thereof) of an insignificant cat who should not even have been infantized in the first place. I had to get Prower before he escaped!

I kicked my rocket boosters onto full speed and flew through the window, intent on finding and infantizing the desperate fox kit. For his own part, Prower seemed to get faster, zig-zagging so I couldn't line up a shot, and turning tight corners so I had to slow down. (You know, this kid's house is a lot bigger than it looks from outside.)

It looked like Prower would make it to his airplane and escape, but surprisingly, Shadow Android managed to do something right for once. He'd ascertained that the Tornado was the likeliest place for Tails to head for, and had set up an ambush.

Tails leaped for his plane and jumped right into Shadow Android's baby-transforming ray.

I powered down my rocket boosters and landed as Shadow Android picked up a squalling Tails.

"Finally," I muttered. "Objective complete."

"Hey, guys," Robo Knuckles called from inside the house. "What are we gonna do about this one?" He held up Big the Cat, who had apparently found his pet frog and was holding it.

"We don't need him," I told Robo Knuckles. "Why'd you shoot him?"

"I don't know. I guess cuz I felt like it," Robo Knuckles explained. "Besides, I think he's cute. Let's keep him."

Big looked up at Robo Knuckles with wide eyes. I shook my head. "We can't simply take someone that Master hasn't told us to take," I explained. "You know how picky he is."

"He is cute, Metal Sonic," Shadow Android agreed, walking over to Big. He reached out and touched the cat's nose, then put his hand behind his back and stated, "I got your nose!"

Big's eyes grew wider and he started to panic. "No! NO! Gimme back! Gimme, gimme!"

"Shadow Android, give him his nose back!" Robo Knuckles ordered, looking just as panicked as Big the Cat seemed.

I felt an inexplicable urge to start hitting my head upon a brick wall. However, I resisted it and headed for the door. "Fine. You may bring him. But if Master becomes upset, I will see to it that his anger falls upon your heads."

"Yea! You get to stay with me, little purple cat guy. Won't that be fun?"

"And Fwoggy?"

"Aw, what the heck. The more the funner." Robo Knuckles agreed.

"Merrier," Shadow Android corrected.

"My name's not Mary!" contradicted Robo Knuckles.

I sighed, then my eyes fell on the headline of a newspaper that Tails had lying open on the counter. It read, "Famed Psychic Hedgehog Jailed!" The story started, "Psychic time traveler Silver the Hedgehog was jailed last night after…"

I didn't care why or when he was jailed. What mattered was that this Silver the Hedgehog had once helped Sonic defeat Dr. Eggman! That meant he should be on the list! Why wasn't I notified of his location?

"We have to get that hedgehog, too!" I stated. "Quick, let's drop these two off and head for the jailhouse!"

Silver the Hedgehog was not having a very good week. First, he was arrested in the middle of the night for a crime he didn't commit, or even know about, and thrown in jail for no reason. Second, everything on his prison plate of food was covered in milk or cheese products.

He was lactose intolerant! He can't eat milk products! And nobody will listen to him and change his menu!

Which means he can starve or have an allergic reaction. And of course, nobody seems to care.

The psychic sighed and sat down on his paper-thin prison mattress, thinking gloomy thoughts. He was wondering if he had enough reason to throw himself a pity-party, when a black orb flew in through the barred window into his cell.

"What the…"

Silver stared at the orb as a button appeared and it started blinking. The psychic's eyes widened as he realized it was a bomb. He used his psychokinetic abilities to fling the bomb to the far end of his cell, then he ducked and covered his head as it exploded, sending pieces of the wall of his cell in every possible direction.

Silver coughed because of all the dust the explosion created. He peered through it, barely making out a metallic figure entering his cell from the newly-created hole. The figure pointed something at him, and before Silver could make a move, it fired.

I nodded to myself approvingly as Silver turned into a baby. I scooped up the child and turn to leave through the hole I had created as police officers rushed into the room, guns drawn. A few started taking potshots at us, and I made sure Silver's head was tucked down between my arms and chest. My metal frame could take a few stray bullets; his body couldn't.

I flew away from the prison and back to Eggman's base, Silver falling asleep in my arms. At last, my boneheaded mission was over.

* * *

Chapter End Notes:

Is it, Metal Sonic? Is it? Of course not! But let him have one more chapter of obliviousness. He'll need it.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own anything save what I have claimed in the previous chapters: the plotline, Maria, Zombie, and the personalities of the three robots.

* * *

I couldn't believe this. Eggman had had us running all over creation kidnapping children, and he wouldn't even take the time of day to come over and talk to us personally! Instead, I had to converse with his flying TV.

The TV flew around the giant playpen so Eggman could view our hostages. "Excellent!" Eggman chuckled gleefully. "There's Sonic, Silver and Shadow! Any one of them could bring entire countries to their knees, but all of them together? I'll be unstoppable! And do I see young Prower? Ah, the only other living being to come even close to my level of intelligence. With his mind, I can create even more powerful machines for conquest. And…hey, who's that purple cat?"

"He's cute," Robo Knuckles said defensively. "I want him."

The TV swiveled around to look at Robo Knuckles, who was trying to make a pouty face so Eggman would give him what he wanted. Since he was made out of metal and his facial expression was frozen in one state, it didn't really work.

I heard Eggman mutter under his breath, "I thought I fixed that personality glitch!" Then he cleared his throat and said loudly, "Fine. One more loyal minion can't hurt."

"What is our next objective, Master?" I asked, wishing to get away from this place and go back to working on important matters.

"I want you to make sure those miniature nuisances stay there, and to teach them to call me their master," Eggman ordered.

At first, I didn't fully comprehend his demands. "Sir?"

"You heard me," Eggman said, annoyed at having to repeat himself. "Stay there and babysit."

"But…but…but surely you know I cannot possibly guard so many units alone!" I managed to gasp.

"So get Shadow Android and Robo Knuckles to help you," Eggman said, already thinking about something else, no doubt the evil schemes that he could induce these children to commit for him. The TV turned off and I just stood there, much too stunned for my central processors to function properly.

Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android were stunned, too, so for a few moments, there was an awkward silence all around.

I should have recorded that silence. Later on it would prove to be the last time I would have it for much longer than I would ever care to admit.

All of a sudden, Robo Knuckles whooped with joy. "Hey, we get to keep all of 'em!" he said, rushing to the playpen and looking at the toddlers in a way that reminded me of a six-year-old at a pet store, attempting to ascertain which one would be perfect for him to own.

"Ooh, I call dibs on the little bat!" Robo Knuckles squealed, hopping up and down. "And also the purple cat. And I want…"

"We are not calling dibs," I told him sternly. "Our orders are to babysit. We merely provide protection, nourishment, and enforce nap-time. Ergo, we do not, as you say, get to keep them."

"Aw, you're no fun," Robo Knuckles muttered, his whole body seeming to deflate.

"What are we going to do with them?" Shadow Android asked me.

I ran the question through my core matrix. "Part of Master's instructions described teaching them to obey orders. We will commence with programming the baby units," I said confidently. Really, how hard could it be?

I was forgetting that these were living beings, not robots, and therefore it would be quite a daunting task to teach them obedience. As if wishing to remind me of that fact, Sonic the Hedgehog grew bored and started moving around the playpen, until his little eyes fell on a creature that intrigued him.

I was so naïve at the time, that I thought nothing of Sonic walking over to Shadow's Chao, Maria, and picking her up, hugging her so tightly she squeaked in pain as her eyes started to bug out.

Shadow was on the blue-furred trouble maker in an instant. "Leggo Mawia, Sonic!" he snapped, holding out his hand for his pet.

"No!" Sonic put Maria behind his back. "Mine!"

"Leggo Mawia!" Shadow screamed, and kicked Sonic in the shin.

Sonic cried out in pain, or anger, it was hard to tell. He dropped Maria like a ton of bricks and glared at Shadow.

"Meanie!" Sonic yelled, rolling into a little ball and attempting to spin dash the source of his frustration. Surprisingly, Shadow Chaos Controlled away at the last second, causing Sonic to spin dash poor innocent Silver, who certainly didn't remain innocent for long.

"Hey!" Silver glared at Sonic, raised his hand, and Sonic started floating in midair. "You is no scapies dis!" Silver informed the unfortunate hedgehog, who was then thrown into Knuckles' midsection.

"Sonic! You hitties me!" Knuckles snapped, punching Sonic in the shoulder.

Apparently, Amy decided that poor Sonic was obviously being picked on unfairly, for she appeared out of nowhere with her small plastic toy hammer, and started bopping Knuckles on the head with it.

"You weave Sonic awone!" Amy ordered. "I wuvvies him!"

Sonic scrunched up his little face and said, "Go 'way! You give me Amy cooties!"

Across the playpen, Vector Crocodile thought this all looked like fun and wanted to be included, so he jumped up and hit Cream for no apparent reason. Cream burst into tears, and Tails got so upset he bit Vector's arm.

Vector started screaming. This got Charmy excited so he pounced Espio, who disappeared and then reappeared next to Rouge, who he instantly tackled in a way that would make a linebacker for a pro football team turn green with envy. Rouge responded to this by punching him in the face.

It was amazing. Fantastic. How so much chaos and destruction could come from such small creatures in such a short time…it was truly incredible. Also, for some reason, I had believed that their powers would disappear when they had been infantized. Apparently, that assumption was false. They not only possessed their abilities, but they all seemed to have complete control over them.

Even so, order must be maintained. "Cease this wayward activity at once!" I ordered them loudly. I might have well have been spouting Latin, for all they cared.

Sonic had found Shadow, who was sitting next to Big the Cat, and the cobalt blue menace decided that his ebony furred rival must pay for his humiliation.

Sonic raced over to Shadow, who watched him humorlessly, until the toddler was a mere three feet away from him. Then the black-and-red hedgehog stood, took a deep breath, and yelled, "Coco ear!"

It was a good thing Shadow Android was there and managed to yank Sonic out of the way before Shadow's chaos spears made him a Sonic-kabob.

Smirking to himself, Shadow sat back down. Sonic looked up at Shadow Android with annoyance, completely not caring about anything except the fact that while he was being held, he was no longer in a position to beat Shadow up.

Big the Cat looked around at the rough and tumble free-for-all going on around him, and asked, "Have you seein' Fwoggy?" even though the frog was sitting on his lap.

The situation was getting desperate. I was unable to regain order. I looked at my two counterparts, silently pleading for one of them to have a way to calm the toddlers down.

Robo Knuckles had one. "Who wants ice cream?" he called loudly.

The fighting instantly stopped and all twelve toddlers were instantly clamoring around him. "Me! Me!" they all cried at once.

Robo Knuckles looked at us smugly. "I remembered my mom doing that," he explained.

"You don't have a mom," Shadow Android told him. "You were programmed in a factory, remember?"

"So? I was programmed with memories of my mom," Robo Knuckles said, annoyed.

I didn't care, so long as it kept those children quiet.

Five minutes and a tub of ice cream later, the children were sitting obediently around our missions briefing table, each eating a single scoop of ice cream from bowls that were approximately the same size in diameter.

The only two who hadn't gotten their scoop yet was Sonic and Shadow. Robo Knuckles dutifully scooped a single scoop of vanilla ice cream into Sonic's bowl and handed it to him. Since that was the last bowl of that size, he put a single scoop of vanilla ice cream in a slightly larger bowl and handed it to Shadow.

I now know that you cannot do this and expect a toddler's mind to realize that the bowl size does not affect the amount of ice cream one gets.

Sonic eyed Shadow's bowl critically. "Hey! He getties more dan me!" he said accusingly. "I wanties more!"

I attempted to remedy the situation, by explaining that the bowl didn't matter, and proved it by taking the ice cream in Sonic's bowl and dumping it into a bowl larger than Shadow's.

"You see? You still have the same amount of ice cream. You understand?" I asked.

Sonic nodded, a huge grin on his face. "Yes! I gotties more dan him," he said, with true toddler logic.

Well, this was a fact that went over with Shadow like a ton of freaking bricks.

"Hey! You givies him more!" Shadow whined. "Why I no getties more?"

"The bowl size does not affect the amount of ice cream!" I insisted, and, like a fool, I demonstrated by dumping his ice cream into a larger bowl. "Get it?"

Shadow smiled. "Tank you." He said sweetly. Then he turned to Sonic and said in a sing-song voice, "I gotties more dan you, Sonic!"

"WAAAAAAAAAA!" Sonic squealed so loudly that I was certain people in China were pausing and asking, "Did you hear something?" In Chinese, of course, but that's beside the point...

To make a long story short, in a matter of minutes the two were happily eating a single scoop of ice cream out of matching, cleaned out fifty-gallon oil drums.

By the time I got those two settled, Silver had finished him and came to Robo Knuckles, the ice cream scooper, with his empty bowl held like Oliver Twist. "More," he demanded.

"Nope. Sorry, only one scoop per kid," Robo Knuckles said.

Silver's eyes flashed. "More!" he snapped.

"No, it'll make you crazy."

Silver raised his hand Robo Knuckles yelped as he started floating.

"MORE! MORE! MORE! MORE!" Silver accentuated his demands by throwing Robo Knuckles to the ground every time he said the word, 'more.' Finally, Robo Knuckles called uncle, or, more appropriately, ice cream.

"Here!" cried the distraught machine, handing Silver the entire carton of ice cream. "Take it! You're crazy already!"

I held my breath, awaiting more cries of unfairness from Sonic and Shadow. Fortunately, there were none. It didn't matter to them that Silver got to eat out of the ice cream carton. After all, their bowls were bigger.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Chapter Notes:

I still do not own the Sonic franchise. I still do own Maria, Zombie, and the personalities of the robots. Robo Knuckles is starting to warm his way into your heart, yes? Or at least making you all wonder why you thought he was a deadly machine...

* * *

While the ice cream was good for restoring order, the order it brought did not last forever. In fact, it did not last for fifteen minutes.

As soon as one of the little ones finished their ice cream scoop, they were up and as rowdy as ever. Right now, Amy, Cream, and Rouge had found some wrenches and screwdrivers that Eggman had left lying around and were pretending the tools were dolls. Vector, Knuckles, Charmy, and Espio were playing hide-and-seek. Apparently they believed the power conduits was a suitable hiding place. Luckily, Shadow Android found them and committed himself to keeping an eye on the four at all times during the game, unless one decided to use the area again and got vaporized.

Shadow and Maria were playing a game of peek-a-boo, and Sonic was…that can't be good.

Sonic was off looking through failed bio-experiments that Eggman had brought back from the ARK. The scientist had thought he could use one or more to take over the world. It hadn't worked, mostly because they were too aggressive or wouldn't take orders. So Eggman had stored them away in a forgotten corner.

Aggressive experiments should not be around baby hedgehogs, or I'm a pile of scrap.

I flew over to the hedgehog, who had dug himself a little hole and was squealing with joy. "Wooky dis!" he called eagerly. "I findy me a fwend, betterer dan Shadow's stupi one." And he held out a glass vile to me.

Robo Knuckles, noticing us and wondering what was going on, came over and took the vile out of Sonic's hands. "What'cha got there little buddy?" he asked, peering intently into the glass tube.

Suddenly, a…thing…appeared, pressing itself against the glass and sucking on it in a way that reminded me of a lamprey in an aquarium tank.

That it had, at one time, been a type of Chao was obvious. What kind, however, was debatable. It had the halo of a Hero Chao, the sharp teeth of a Dark Chao, and the body of a Neutral Chao. Perhaps Professor Robotnik had endeavored to put the best characteristics of all three Chao breeds into one, but for what purpose was beyond my abilities to comprehend. I was unable to ascertain just what he had turned the Chao into, as well.

Robo Knuckles, however, had a good theory. "It's a Zombie Chao!" he shrieked, dropping the jar instinctively. It fell to the ground and shattered, releasing the…Zombie Chao…into the world.

Now that Robo Knuckles had identified it, it became apparent that the Chao, did, indeed have many characteristics of a zombie. It was a sickly pale white color, with bloodshot yellow eyes, and it walked in a slow, shuffling manner. Its wings were jagged and appeared to be sharp, like knives, and it drooled slightly, its tongue hanging out of it's mouth.

Sonic took one look at the thing and determined it to be the greatest singular creature on God's green earth.

"Ombie!" he said, clapping his hands. Apparently, he had deduced that Zombie was the thing's name, rather than a description of its…uniqueness.

Before I could stop him, Sonic rushed over to Zombie the Chao, grabbed him, and hugged him. "I wuv you, Ombie," the toddler gushed.

Zombie looked at Sonic and gave him a wide, toothy grin, his tongue still hanging out. "Chaaaaaooooo," he told the toddler.

Good night, he even sounds like a zombie. I was not completely at ease with the thing, but Zombie did seemed to be attached to Sonic, and wasn't trying to feast on the toddler's fuzzy blue flesh, so if the boy wanted it for a pet, then I had no objections.

Still, I would keep an eye on the thing. There had to be a reason it was stored away with aggressive and dangerous bio-weapons. Although it was possible that Gerald Robotnik threw it away because it was useless.

Sonic waddled off with his pet, holding the Chao with one arm, so that his neck and hands were sticking out above it, and the rest of Zombie was dangling underneath it. It seemed, however, that Zombie had no objections to being carted off in such a manner, and actually appeared to enjoy it.

"Wooky dis, Shadow," Sonic called proudly, holding Zombie up in full view. "Mine is better 'in yours."

Shadow looked over Zombie critically. "Is not," he said, cuddling with Maria. "Mawia is better. She is bew-di-ful. Yours is ugy."

Sonic frowned, looking over Zombie again, putting the pale-colored Chao up to his face. Zombie grinned and licked Sonic's face. Sonic squealed with glee and pulled him back.

"Ombie is bestest," Sonic said matter-of-factly. "He givies me good kissies."

"So?" Shadow rebutted. "Mawia gives me good huggies."

That ended the conversation as the two went separate ways, each convinced that their pet was better than the other's.

I shook my head and continued trying to pinpoint my charges. There was Big…and Robo Knuckles, who was hopping up and down on one leg, holding another.

I sighed and flew over to the two. "What happened?"

"I came over to say hello, and he beat me with a metal pipe!" Robo Knuckles squealed.

I looked over to Big the Cat, who was completely ignoring us, waving a long, thin metal pipe back and forth.

"Big?" The toddler looked up at me with wide, innocent eyes. "What are you doing?"

"Fishy," Big explained.

"Did you hit Robo Knuckles with that pipe?" I continued my interrogation.

Big looked at the pipe and shook his head. "No pip. Fishy po."

I wondered if I could be upgraded so I could roll my optics sensors. "Fine. Did you hit Robo Knuckles with your fishing pole?"

Big nodded. "He comeys and getted back of me while I is back swing," he explained.

"You see, Robo Knuckles," I said, "It's your fault. You got behind him on the backswing."

I walked away, listening to Robo Knuckles stuttering, "But…but...but…" over and over.

Now, where is Tails?

I heard a small sound, like a small wrench being hit on a metal object, and followed it to its source.

My optics widened considerably. "Oh, no…" I gasped. "Tails, what did you do!?"

The toddler looked up amongst a pile of loose metal parts that used to be an extremely expensive and delicate piece of our security measures. A small wrench was in his hand, further condemning him of his guilt.

"I fixy it," Tails said proudly.

"It wasn't broken!" I shrieked. "It was expensive and fully functional!"

Tails cocked his head to the side. "I fixy it bestest," he explained.

"You tore it to pieces! How is that fixing it?"

Tails looked at his pile of metal with a thoughtful look on his face. Then his eyes lit up and he picked up a piece of metal that was apart from the pile and set it gently on top of it. "Dere!" he said proudly. "Is perfect now."

"Out! You're not supposed to be here! And it's not perfect at all! It was perfect before you got your grubby little paws on it!"

"Oh." Tails reached up and knocked the top piece of metal off. "All better," he said.

I was wondering how to get Tails out of this room without causing further damage to the equipment inside it, when Shadow Android rushed into the room frantically.

"Metal Sonic!" he cried with urgency. "Come quickly! Silver's having trouble breathing!"

Tails' mechanical prowess was instantly forgotten as I activated my rocket boosters and raced to the living area, where I found Robo Knuckles sitting in front of Silver the Hedgehog, who was heaving with ragged, gasping breaths.

"What do we do?" Robo Knuckles asked, in panic.

I instantly started looking through hospital medical files for anything on Silver the Hedgehog, hoping one would have an answer.

I found one, and I gasped. "He is allergic to dairy products!" I said aloud. The ice cream! We might have well have fed him poison! "Quickly, Robo Knuckles, go to Master's medical bay and find some epinephrine! Hurry, there is not much time!"

Robo Knuckles raced off to Eggman's medical center and soon returned with the aforementioned medicine, which I promptly administered to Silver to counteract his allergic reaction.

Slowly, Silver's breathing returned to normal, and I allowed myself to relax slightly.

I did, however, look through medical files of the rest of my charges, in case they, too, had medical problems that would need to be addressed. Ignorance nearly killed one of the children; it would not happen again.


	5. Chapter 5

After Silver's frightening reaction, Shadow Android suggested that we take a new course of action. He proposed stocking up on food in general, as well as several non-dairy items for Silver in particular, and also get as many preschool toys as we could possibly get, then get all the kids together and put up a level five force field so they would be unable to get anywhere save our makeshift living and kitchen areas. It was a good plan, only we had no money.

Now, not having money didn't particularly bother me; my matrix thought nothing of stealing things. I did that all the time. I simply did not want to be observed stealing preschool toys. Even I have standards, and someone seeing me stealing preschool toys would be, well, embarrassing. Shadow Android agreed with my logic.

We sent Robo Knuckles. He'd do anything if he figured he could get away with it. I only hoped he didn't decide to start playing with his stolen toys inside the store.

While he was preoccupied with obtaining supplies, Shadow Android worked on setting up the force field, and I continued to care for the toddlers. I usually get the hard jobs, but I digress.

I had cajoled all twelve toddlers into playing a big game of Duck, Duck, Goose, and they were actually behaving themselves. Although I did notice that after a while, no one would pick Sonic or Shadow. They didn't seem to mind, however, because they were sitting across from each other and were 'entertaining' themselves by making faces at each other.

As I watched the game, I noticed that the four pets—Maria, Cheese, Froggy, and Zombie—had been set down next to each other so their respective owners could enjoy the game. Zombie was staring at Cheese, and he was licking his lips.

For a fraction of a second, I grew worried that Zombie the Chao really was a zombie, and was hankering for a meal of Chao flesh. But Zombie was apparently above cannibalism; he left Cheese alone and decided to snack on something other than a member of his species.

Something like Froggy, who was most certainly not a Chao.

Have you ever heard a frog scream?

I have, it makes a sort of a…never mind, it's probably not important anyway. What is important is that Big jumped up and screamed, "FROGGY!" And rushed off to rescue his pet.

It really wouldn't have been so bad, save that the way Big and the pets were positioned; the other children were between him and his beloved frog. Didn't faze Big, he just stomped on top of several unfortunate kids, (Charmy, Cream, Amy) and climbed over them, never even breaking his stride.

The aforementioned trio were so shocked by Big's actions that they didn't even realize what had happened until after he'd done it. When they did understand what had happened, they raised their voices and wailed as one.

Shadow Android dropped what he was doing and rushed over to see what had happened, as Big reached Zombie and whacked him aside with a flick of his hand. Zombie let out a strangled 'Chao!' as he flew back.

This was a sight that was most certainly not to the liking of Zombie's proud owner, Sonic. The hedgehog was up in an instant, and in front of Big in another instant.

"You hittied my fwend, Big!" Sonic chastised him, wagging his index finger at the malefactor. "Dat is not good!"

Big didn't notice him or didn't care; either way he walked over Sonic the same way he'd walked over the other currently squalling toddlers in my care.

Sonic instantly realized what Big had done, and looked up at me, his lower lip trembling. "WAAAAAAAAA!" he screamed.

As I went over to Sonic, I noticed the boy's new pet out of the corner of my eye. Zombie seemed to undergo a transformation the instant he heard his owner scream. The Chao's yellow eyes turned the same sickly pale white as his body; his body turned a crimson red. Zombie's teeth seemed to grow sharper and his wings elongated. Long, claw-like objects sprouted out of his hands.

This happened in a fraction of a second, but when I turned to get a closer look, Zombie was back to normal—well, normal for Zombie. I wasn't sure if what I had seen had been real or if my optics were malfunctioning. It was probably the latter; however, I decided I should look through Professor Robotnik's data files and see if that revealed Zombie's function, just in case.

Zombie waddled over to the squalling Sonic and licked his nose. Sonic stopped screaming and Zombie licked him again. Sonic giggled and grabbed the Chao, squeezing it until I was sure the thing's bones would crack. Zombie gave me that dopey grin of his.

"Luuuuuuucy, I'm home!" called Robo Knuckles as he entered the hideout, his arms full of Wal-Mart bags. "They have a nice Wal-Mart in Cleveland," he explained, dropping the bags to the ground. "I got some more outside, be back in a sec." And he zoomed off again.

I sighed and walked over to the bags. Half were full of preschool toys, the other half full of food. Identifying which was which, I separated the two groups and began sorting out the groceries. My optics widened as I pulled out the first item of food.

"ROBO KNUCKLES!"

The aforementioned bonehead flew back in, more groceries in his arm. "Yo," he responded.

I was on him in a second, practically shoving the offending item in his face. "You moron! You ninny! I knew you were stupid, but even I never suspected you were this dumb!"

"Whoa!" Metal Knuckles threw his hands up in defense. "What's with you?"

"What's with me? What's with you?! You actually went and bought ice cream after what happened? Are you insane!?"

"Oh, that," Robo Knuckles took the ice cream box and showed me the ingredient labels. "This type of ice cream is called Popsicle sticks. It's just flavored water with food coloring on it. See? No milk products in here."

I glanced at the ingredients and saw that Robo Knuckles spoke the truth. I allowed myself to relax. But only slightly. "Please don't tell me you went and got a bunch of junk food."

"Of course not," Robo Knuckles scoffed. "I'm offended! I bought lots of healthy foods, too." To prove his point, he held up a cantaloupe. "See?"

"One cantaloupe does not make a balanced nutritional diet," I explained, feeling my oil pressure rising.

"I know that. I bought two of them."

I should have known better than to let Robo Knuckles do the grocery shopping. I knew he'd pull a stunt like this. The two cantaloupes were the only remotely healthy things he brought. We'd have to go get more healthy food, or feed the children a diet consisting of brownies, ding-dongs, Cheetos, Chips Ahoy! cookies, and Popsicle Sticks.

I was preparing myself to really chew Metal Knuckles out, when toddler Knuckles wandered into the area innocently. His eyes went wide when he saw the cantaloupe in Robo Knuckles' hands.

"You founded it!" The toddler squealed, jumping up and down while clapping his hands. "You founded da Massa Emered! I wooked an' wooked, but I no founded it, but you founded it! Tankie you!"

Knuckles ran over to us, grabbed the cantaloupe, and hugged it tightly. Then he turned and ran off, his prize tucked under his arm.

After an awkward silence, Robo Knuckles muttered, "Gee, I've never been that happy to see a cantaloupe…"

Fifteen minutes later, as I was shuffling around some floor maps to prepare for the enforcement of nap-time, I heard a horrible squalling. I dropped the mattress I was holding and rushed to the children, looking around for the disturbance.

Turns out the squeal came from Rouge, who was running from a furious Knuckles. I grabbed both children by their shoulders. "What is going on here?" I asked.

Knuckles glared at Rouge and snapped, "She stealies da Massa Emered, Metty Sonic! Makies her givie back!"

Rouge looked up at me indignitely. "Is mine," she contradicted, hugging her ill-gotten Master Cantaloupe to her body.

"You stealies!" Knuckles yelled.

"Mine!" Rouge yelled back.

Somehow, Knuckles squirmed out of my hand and tackled Rouge, who let out an oomph and dropped the precious cantaloupe, which broke open when it hit the ground.

Knuckles and Rouge stopped struggling with each other, Knuckles looking at his beloved cantaloupe with an expression akin to horror.

"You broke da Massa Emered," Knuckles said quietly. Then he burst into tears and punched Rouge in the shoulder. "YOU BROKE DA MASSA EMERED!"

Rouge glared at Knuckles, then stood up and dusted herself off. She kicked the cantaloupe pieces and said disdainfully, "I no want dis," then wandered off, leaving me with the disconsolate Knuckles all alone.

Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android were lured to the sound of the sobbing Knuckles like moths to a flame. I hastily described what had happened. Metal Knuckles kneeled down to Knuckles and asked, "Hey, what's wrong, big guy?"

"She…stealies…Massa…Emered…breakies…all...up!" Knuckles explained between sobs.

"Well, then, I guess I'll just have to use my neat Master Emerald Healing Powers," Robo Knuckles said matter of factly.

Knuckles stopped sobbing and sniffed. "You gotties healies powers?" he asked incredulously.

"Sure do! Leave it to me, and I'll have her fixed up in no time flat," Robo Knuckles insisted, scooping up the pieces of the Master Cantaloupe and disappearing into the kitchen area.

Shadow Android and I looked at each other. "This I have to see," Shadow Android said, and we followed Robo Knuckles.

"Well, 'Cantaloupe Healer,' how are you going to fix that?" Shadow Android scoffed at him.

"Oh ye of little faith," Robo Knuckles chastised, throwing the broken cantaloupe in the trash and picking up the other, unbroken one. "This is why we buy in bulk," he explained, returning to Knuckles with the new cantaloupe.

"Ta-da!" he said proudly, putting the cantaloupe in a thrilled toddler's arms.

"You did healies it! You is 'maizing!" Knuckles hugged Robo Knuckles and rushed off with his new Master Cantaloupe.

Robo Knuckles watched him go, then scratched his head. "I don't get it," he muttered. "It's just a cantaloupe…"

"A Master Cantaloupe," Shadow Android corrected. "That makes it better."


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Chapter Notes:

All disclaimers have already been read in previous chapters. It's tiring to write all these disclaimers.

* * *

The rest of the day was rather uneventful. I sent Shadow Android after more food, and luckily, he came back with a more balanced diet. Bedtime was a bit of a burden, but I found that if you could make a toddler hold completely still long enough, they pretty much shut down. Making them hold still for the amount of time required took some effort, but I am a high piece state of the art android. It only took me two and a half hours.

The following morning, after a breakfast consisting of pancakes and syrup, and then having a clean-up session to get maple syrup off of sticky paws and mouths (Somehow, Sonic got maple syrup behind his ears) we unveiled the new toys to the thrilled toddlers.

We also found a practical use for Eggman's stupid floaty TV thing. It really WAS a TV, and it got cable.

Barney the Dinosaur was my best friend after I discovered how he was capable of keeping toddlers still and quiet for an entire half an hour.

Anyway, back to the toys. Robo Knuckles would never pass as a nutritionist, but he was an exceptional toy man. He had found the perfect toy for each child.

Sonic got a blue rubber ball. He discovered that if he hit Zombie on the head with it, the ball would roll back. This toy would prove to bring hours of entertainment to the boy. As for Zombie, sometimes I can't help but wonder if somehow, Professor Robotnik knew that he would become the pet of a hyper, pet-abusing hedgehog toddler, and designed him for that purpose. No matter how hard Sonic squeezed, the awkwardness of the way Sonic carried him, or how often Sonic hit him on the head with a rubber ball, Zombie took it. In fact, it seemed like he liked being treated in such a manner.

Shadow got about five Hot Wheels cars and a track to run them on. The track had been stretched out in one long piece and the top had been tucked under some magazines sitting on a chair, making it a really big hill. He and Maria were rolling the cars down and watching them crash at the bottom. (The boy loves to see things crash a little too much, but that's just my opinion.)

Big the Cat, predictably, got a plastic fishing pole with a magnet attached to it instead of a lure. He also received about ten plastic fish with pieces of metal on their mouths. The fish were placed in a plastic bucket, and Big had to 'fish' them out.

Vector, Espio, and Charmy each got a detective kit and a spy set.

Tails got a Diego Rescue Tool Set. It was much less destructive than a regular tool kit, and even had some things in it for Tail's to 'fix and create.'

I had to remind myself of the Tails' IQ when fifteen minutes later, he showed me a toy version of a jet engine that he'd created with the tools out of the raw materials. (He really is scary smart…)

Knuckles got some toy boxing gloves. Of all the children, only Knuckles' gift was a bust. He didn't like the gloves, or the way they felt on his hands. Luckily, the Master Cantaloupe kept him from being bored.

Robo Knuckles later admitted that he had had no idea what Silver would want, but apparently the child was greatly fond of action figures. Right now, the Captain America action figure was beating up the Punisher, who Silver insisted was the bad guy. Luckily for Captain America, his sidekick Joker ("He is dood," insisted the toddler) was able to keep the Punisher's dastardly minion, Han Solo, in check.

Rouge got a Pretty Princess jewelry kit. She adored it, but I'm still worried about the way she keeps looking over to Knuckles' cantaloupe…

Amy and Cream each got two Barbie Dolls with a ton of clothes and accessories.

Right now, the children were each in different areas of the living room. Knuckles, Rouge and Charmy were watching a children's television show entitled 'Yo Gabba Gabba.' They were quite enthralled with it, especially when the character known as 'Brody' or something to that intent, and a talking balloon started to fly through the air, singing about being best friends.

Shadow Android stared at the TV for a second, then he stated, "The balloon needs to pop."

"Hey! That's cruel," Robo Knuckles chastised him.

"Maybe, but the balloon needs to pop."

I shook my head and turned to the other children. Big had just 'caught' a fish, and yanked his pole up to get it out of the bucket. Unfortunately, the boy didn't know his own strength, and he yanked the pole so hard that the string went sailing back and the magnet lost its hold on the fish. The fish soared through the air and hit Sonic in the head, causing him to lose his aim. The ball that should have hit Zombie, instead sailed through the room and nailed Shadow.

Shadow yelped and stumbled into his Hot Wheels track, knocking it down. The crimson eyed toddler whirled to Sonic and raised his arms, energy already starting to form.

"Shadow," I called warningly. The boy dropped his hands and looked at me, with a 'what do you want? I'm busy' expression on his face.

"What?" he asked.

"What did I tell you about Chaos Spears?" I prompted.

Shadow scrunched his face up, trying to remember. Then his eyes lit up and he said, "No-no."

"That's right, it is a no-no to use Chaos Spears," I agreed.

"He hitted me wiff a bouncy ball," Shadow whined, pointing at Sonic.

Sonic, continuing their reenactment of Adam and Eve after God caught them having a forbidden snack in the garden, instantly pointed at Big. "He hitties me with a fishy!" he accused.

Big looked up at me with large, innocent eyes. "Oopsies," he said apologetically.

At least one of them is big enough to admit he made a mistake—no pun intended.

I sighed loudly and sent the three of them back to their games, and helped Shadow fix his Hot Wheels track again.

Zombie started squealing with glee when Sonic started hitting him on the head with the ball again—I actually think the Chao was jealous because Sonic had hit Shadow instead of him.

After I fixed this minor problem, and complemented Tails on his latest creation (Looked like he was constructing a jet body for his engine) I noticed that Robo Knuckles was no longer watching the television. I glanced around and located him across the room. Cream had him by the hand was guiding him to where she and Amy were playing Barbie dolls.

"Pway with us, Obo Uckies," Cream begged, trying to make him sit down. "We goies pwom."

"Ooh, what are we wearing?" Robo Knuckles said complacently, playing along. He said down and picked up one of the dolls, holding up a bright pink dress.

"Oh, I do declare, this one's just awful," he said, changing his voice chip so he'd sound like a Southern Belle—he was pretending to be the Barbie doll. "And I can't do a THING with my hair!"

Amy handed him a green dress. "You is wear dis one," she instructed.

"OK," Robo Knuckles said in his own voice. Then he tried to put the dress on his doll. "Geez, Barbie," he muttered, struggling, "Looks like it's time to lose some thigh fat."

He struggled in vain to get the dress onto the doll, then finally he looked up and put the doll down, shaking his head sadly.

"Face it, Barbie," he said. "You're going to have to deal with the fact that you're obviously a size 10, not a size 4. Sorry."

Amy frowned at him and took the doll, effortlessly dressing Barbie in the green dress. Then she handed it back to Robo Knuckles.

"Oh, sure," the machine said, trying to save face. "You got her to suck in her big gut!"

I wished I could smile. Robo Knuckles had been made a fool of by a two-year-old. Then again, it couldn't have been that hard; Robo Knuckles was made a fool of by everybody.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Chapter Notes:

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? And who cares, anyway?

* * *

You know, when you are in charge of twelve toddlers, the last thing you want to hear is the fire alarm going off.

So of course, it was going off now. Hoping to contain the flame before it became serious and I had to try to evacuate my charges (I could think of no task more challenging and time consuming—time that, frankly, I wouldn't have if the building was burning to the ground) I followed the thick trail of black smoke which led me straight to our makeshift kitchen.

I found Shadow Android to be already in the process of putting out the fire, which was more than acceptable since it was apparent that he was the one who had started it in the first place. (He later defended himself by claiming that the spaghetti box said nothing about needing water.)

As he doused the last of the flaming pasta with a fire extinguisher, he noticed that I was staring at him. He threw the extinguisher aside and brushed his hands off.

"Dinner's ready," he said matter of factly.

"You can't feed them that!" Robo Knuckles told him, as the kids wandered into the kitchen one by one to see what was being destroyed and whether or not they could help.

Shadow Android looked at his culinary creation, which consisted of pitch black spaghetti noodles covered with thick white foam, and deduced that for once, Robo Knuckles had made a valid point.

Shadow Android shrugged and said, "Looks like we're having baloney sandwiches," he conceded.

Robo Knuckles leaned close and whispered something in Shadow Android's ear.

"Without bread," Shadow Android added.

Luckily for us, the thought of eating raw baloney for dinner (If we don't cook it, we can't ruin it) was the neatest thing ever to happen in the history of forever and the rest of time as far as the children were concerned.

So baloney, Cheetos, and baby carrots consisted of the dinner meal. Everyone ate it like good little children except Tails, who for some unknown reason, refused to touch the carrots.

"Eat your carrots, Tails, they're good for you," I told him, as I cleaned up some Juicy Juice that Espio dropped.

"No, I no want it," Tails said sweetly, defying me.

"You'd better eat it," I warned. "There are hundreds of malnourished children in other countries who would love to eat your carrots."

Behind me, Sonic's eyes widened and he shoved about six Cheetoes in his mouth, just in case those hungry children might have a taste for puffy cheese snacks.

Tails, however, just sat there, staring at his carrots, the wheels of his little toddler mind churning rapidly. Finally, he stood up and handed me his plate of uneaten carrots.

"Starvy chillins can have dese," he told me gravelly. "I no want dem." Then, having accomplished this act of charity, he turned and went back to where he was building his toy jet plane.

Hmm…that hadn't worked quite like I had intended. I sighed and put Tails' carrots back in the cooling unit—he could eat them for breakfast tomorrow morning.

After dinner, I looked at the clock and decided to allow the children to remain awake for another half an hour before proclaiming it bedtime. During this time, I allowed myself to be persuaded to join the Chaotix in a game of hide-and-seek.

Did you know that Charmy was capable opening the oven door, crawling inside, and shutting the door behind him? I saw him do it. Twice. Great, there's another fun new worry to experience. And after I had witnessed Shadow Android's culinary skills at work only minutes before, too.

Anyway, back to the hide-and-seek game. Vector was by far the easiest to find. He always hid behind the door. Always. And whenever I would call, "Where has Vector hidden?" he would stick his head out, look straight into my optics sensors, point in some random direction, and yell, "I went dat way!" and duck behind the door again.

He's cute; he couldn't understand how I could find him so fast.

I still don't know where Espio went; he disappeared when I became It and stayed that way until bedtime.

Bedtime was infinitely easier than last night. The children were obviously worn out from playing all day, and most were asleep almost before their heads hit the pillows. The rest of them (meaning Sonic) fell asleep within a few minutes of being put to bed.

Shadow Android, Robo Knuckles, and I all retired to our recharging chambers for an extremely needed recharge.

Something is not right.

I cannot explain why I had regained consciousness before my recharging was complete, but I had, and somehow, I knew something was wrong.

I cannot explain the feeling any more than I can explain my sudden awakening; I just knew somehow. I believed that organics referred to it as a 'gut feeling'. I do not believe that I posses 'guts,' at least, certainly not in organic terms, but I was, apparently, capable of feeling with whatever it is androids use for guts.

I stepped out of my recharging chamber and put my sensors on full alert, trying to pinpoint any disturbance.

A small noise was my reward for my efforts, but it certainly was not like any noise I had ever experienced. It sounded almost like a cross between a Chao's mournful whimper and a coyote's chilling howl. But whatever it was, it was coming from…

…From the children's rest area!

I instantly powered my rocket boosters on full blast and flew to the room at my top speed. What on earth was going on? What was that sound? And whatever it was, was it a threat to the toddlers?

I blasted into the room and looked around, taking a brief head-count of the sleeping children.

Amy, Cream, Vector, Tails, Big, Charmy, Rouge…

No! Five of them were missing! How was that possible? Had they gotten up and started wandering around, the security alarm would have gone off and woke us up. The same would have happened if some stranger had come inside.

Now that I was here, I saw that the sound, or part of it, at least, came from Shadow's pet, Maria. She was cuddling his empty blanket and giving off mournful whimpers. She knew he was gone.

Looking around, I froze as I saw what was making the other part of the sound. Zombie.

The transformation I had seen him undertake the other day, had in fact, not been a figment of my imagination. He had changed again, and was moving with a catlike grace that defied description, especially given the slow, sluggish way that Zombie normally used.

His now crimson red body was reflecting the moonlight, and he was looking in odd places all across the room, periodically throwing his head back and giving that bone-chilling howl.

Somehow, I knew that he was searching for Sonic.

All this had happened in a timeframe of no more than thirty seconds, at the end of which my robotic brain had calculated all the evidence and had presented me with a logical explanation.

Fact: The children did not simply wake up and wander off. If they had, Sonic and Shadow would most certainly have taken their pets with them.

Fact: Since they didn't wander off, then it was logical to assume someone had taken them.

Fact: That person would have to know how to deactivate the security measures, or they would have gone off and alerted us to his or her presence.

Fact: This person knew the children were here, and had already determined which ones he wanted: The strongest five, Sonic, Shadow, Knuckles, Espio and Silver.

Fact: Only one person fit all requirements listed. My creator, Dr. Eggman.

I heard a strange sound, nearly as frightening as the one Zombie was currently making, and it took me a moment to realize that I was creating it. I stopped and went back to the recharging chambers, intent on awakening my fellow androids and checking the security monitors to see if my theory was correct.

I entered the chambers and yanked Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android out of their units.

Shadow Android powered on and glared at me. "What is your problem?" he spat.

"Five are missing."

Their expressions changed from annoyed to concerned. "Are you sure?" Shadow Android asked.

I nodded. "They are gone. Someone took them while we were recharging."

Robo Knuckles blinked. "But who could get past the security…" He stopped as it became apparent to him just who was capable of such a feat.

"He wouldn't," Shadow Android said, sounding unsure of that fact.

"There is only one way to find out," I told him. He nodded, and we all headed to the security monitors. Eggman, if it had been him, could turn off the alarms, but the monitors were always on duty.

Robo Knuckles jumped as another howl split the night air. "What is that?!" he shrieked.

"Zombie," I replied simply, as I opened the door to the security room and started to rewind the tapes. "Now, we shall see who did this."

We watched the tapes for a while, and sure enough, Eggman came through in his hover craft, and we watched him pick up the five toddlers and leave.

Afterwards, we watched Zombie wake up, look around for Sonic, and transform into Were-Zombie (I can think of no other thing to call it) and start howling. That was probably what woke me up.

Robo Knuckles stared at Zombie and asked, "Are you sure it's a good idea to keep…that thing…around our children?"

Our children? I had never even considered thinking of them like that. Our children…

"Whatever Zombie is, he is not our main concern," Shadow Android said, all business. "Our question is: What do we do now? Do we dare defy our Master's wishes in order to protect the little ones, or stay here and hope Master will return them to us safely?"

Robo Knuckles nodded. "You're right; Zombie can wait." He turned to me and asked, "What's the plan, Metal Sonic?"

I ran the question through my central processors and straightened up. "Robo Knuckles, you stay here and guard the children that still remain. And while you're at it, hack into Gerald Robotnik's files and find out what the heck Zombie is and whether he needs to be dealt with. Shadow Android, come with me." I powered up my rocket boosters and Shadow Android did the same. "Let's go get our children back."


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Chapter Notes:

This cuts briefly to third person so we can see Eggman get his just desserts. I like to torment him. BWAHAHAHA!

* * *

At the time when Metal Sonic was discovering the disappearance of the five kids, Eggman had brought them halfway across the continent in his plastic bubble thing.

"Alright, minions," Eggman ordered. "You are going to go down there and get me the Chaos Emeralds."

Sonic, who was not at all concerned with being snatched from his bed by a total stranger (he could no longer remember who Eggman was) in the middle of the night, motioned for Eggman to come down to his level.

"I want talkies you," Sonic said conspiratorially.

Eggman, confused and not at all familiar with the ways of children in general and the ways of Sonic in particular, leaned forward so that Sonic was now face-to-face with him.

Sonic reached up and flicked Eggman's nose. The hedgehog squealed with glee as it began to wobble. "You got wiggy nose!" he giggled.

Eggman jerked back and put his hand on his nose, looking annoyed. "Stop that!" he ordered.

Behind them, Shadow opened up a panel for a critical component and stuffed his face inside. "Mawia?" he called, his voice reverberating weirdly. "Where is you?"

"GET AWAY FROM THERE!" Eggman shrieked, grabbing Shadow and pulling him away from the console. "GOOD NIGHT ABOVE, DO YOU WANT TO GET US ALL KILLED?!"

Shadow scowled at Eggman and kicked his shin. "No touchies me!" he spat. "I no wanties you!"

Eggman yelped and grabbed his pulsating shin. "You little brat!" he yelled.

Knuckles came up behind him and tugged on his pants leg. Eggman glared at him angrily.

"What?" he asked.

Knuckles held his hand out expectantly. "Givies me Massa Emered." he ordered.

"What are you talking about?" Eggman asked angrily.

Knuckles looked annoyed. "I havies Massa Emered. Den you is comeys. Now I no founded it. Givies me Massa Emered! You stealies it!"

A bewildered look crossed the mad scientist's face. "Say what?" he asked.

Knuckles stomped his foot and punched Eggman's other leg.

"OW!"

Eggman crumpled like a Home Ed students' first soufflé, clutching his knees and naturally assuming a fetal position, tears coming to his eyes.

Sonic looked at him expectantly. "I wiggies you nose now?" he asked.

"No! Go away!"

"Is go be awesome," Sonic said persuasively.

"WOULD YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!?"

Silver, unbeknownst to Eggman, who really wasn't in a position to watch anyone, had popped up next the control console. He pointed to a bright, friendly looking big red button. "Whas dis one?" he asked. "I push it?"

A small, underdeveloped part of Eggman's brain labeled 'parental instinct' told him that that was not a very good sentence to emerge from a toddler's mouth. He struggled to lift his head and see just what Silver was pointing at. His eyes widened considerably. "NO!" he shrieked.

Unfortunately, telling a toddler 'no' is like saying 'go ahead. It's fun and I'm just a stuffy old crow who wants to oppress you unjustly.' So Silver stretched forth his hand and pressed the inviting button.

A missile launched from the plastic bubble and a loud explosion was heard. Eggman jumped up (Not an easy thing for him to do) and glanced around, accessing the damage.

"It's ok," he told himself, his voice shaking slightly. "No real damage. After all, that monument didn't really need a nose anyway."

"I wiggies it?" Sonic asked excitedly.

"Forget it," Eggman informed him.

"I rembereded. In my brain," Sonic said, pointing at his head with a no kidding expression on his face.

"You have no brain," Eggman said coldly, turning back and trying to remember if he had four children or five.

Five. Espio had just materialized in front of him and yelled, "BOO!"

Eggman yelped and stumbled back, tripping over Shadow and falling flat on his well-cushioned tush.

Shadow glared at him, and kicked him in the stomach. He was promptly followed by Knuckles, who was still determined to make him cough up the Master Cantaloupe.

"GIVIES ME DA EMERED!" Knuckles screamed, grabbing his mustache and pulling half of it off.

For those of you without a mustache, that happens to be excruciatingly painful.

"AUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Eggman screamed in agony, covering his lopsided lip and whimpering. "I just want a few Chaos Emeralds," he moaned to himself. "I don't deserve this."

Silver leaned over and looked at Eggman's face, which had tears of pain streaming down it, and noticed an enticing half-a-mustache growing thereon.

Silver's eyes went wide and he rubbed the mustache, liking the way it felt. "Kitty," he finally said, grabbing it and yanking hard.

A horrid rip, much like the one heard when Knuckles had tried his own hand at barbering, could be heard throughout the land. Along with a gut-wrenching cry of agony never to be heard again.

Espio, growing bored, crawled on top of the quivering doctor's body and kicked his sides, ordering him to giddy up.

Meanwhile Sonic, sensing a golden opportunity, raced over and flicked Eggman's nose again. "See?" he said smugly. "I told you."

Eggman was in too much pain to stop the hedgehog, who continued flicking his nose without a care in the world.

I looked around desperately trying to find some sign of Eggman and our children. He had a good head start on us; catching up to him would be difficult.

Suddenly, Shadow Android pulled up and pointed. "Look, Metal Sonic," he said excitedly. "They must have got past here!"

I focused my optics and saw a well-known monument, minus a nose and still smoking from whatever had done its new nose job. I nodded; I knew my kids' work when I saw it. No other living creatures were capable of committing such a wanton act of destruction.

"Metal Sonic!" Shadow Android warned, powering up his weapons. "G.U.N.!"

I grimaced. We did not have time to fight G.U.N.; every moment we wasted here was a moment that Eggman could use to drag our children farther away from us!

"Disarm yourself and surrender!" said one of the G.U.N. jetfighters as they flew towards us.

"I don't think so," Shadow Android replied, firing his ion cannon. "And why are you fighting us? A maniacal kidnapper is on the loose, with our toddlers, and you're attacking us?"

"I repeat, stand down!" ordered the jet pilot. "Defacing national monuments is a felony!"

"What?" Shadow Android gasped. "We didn't do anything to that monument! And besides, it's not like it needed that nose anyway!"

"Shadow Android," I said, firing off a warning shot. "We have to get away from here so we can find the kids!"

Shadow Android looked thoughtful, then noticed an oil well down below. He took aim and shot it, watching it go up in flames. The jet pilots immediately broke pursuit to deal with the new situation.

"That will distract them for awhile," Shadow Android said proudly.

"You do have a knack for setting fire to things," I admitted. "Now, let's go find Eggman!"


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Chapter Notes:

Well, here you have it. A chapter explaining just what Zombie is and what he was created for. Is he a playful pet, or a rampaging bio weapon? The first part of this chapter is third person, like the last one.

* * *

Finally, Eggman landed his stupid plastic bubble thing in a lush tropical rainforest.

"Alright," he said, climbing out with the toddlers and rubbing his hands together. "I admit we got off to a bad start," he rubbed his now smooth face and muttered, "You twerps are lucky this'll grow back…"

Espio giggled. "You say tweet. Wike birdies."

"I did not! Anyway, that's beside the point. There is a powerful Chaos gem somewhere in this rainforest, and I want you five to do whatever it is you do that lets you find the Emerald before I do, even though I have the help of state-of-the-art equipment. Then you are to bring it to me. Got it?"

Silver squealed. "Wook! I findies it!"

"Already? That's unbelievable!" Eggman said, turning to the physic toddler. "Where is it?"

Silver pointed to a tree branch. "See? Bird home."

Eggman moaned and massaged his temples as he realized that Silver had not seen a Chaos Emerald; rather, the boy was excited about a bird's nest.

"I see that," Eggman said. "But we're not looking for bird's nests, are we?"

Silver blinked. "Babies in dere?" he asked, still fixated on the nest.

"I suppose. But now we're going to go look for a big shiny, super-powerful gem. Won't that be fun?"

Shadow looked at the limb. "Mawia in dat?" he asked hopefully.

Eggman didn't know what a Mawia was, nor did he care. "If you say so," he said, to humor the boy. "But now we're going to look for—"

That was as far as he got, for the excited toddler Chaos controlled up to the branch and looked in the nest excitedly. When he got a good look at the contents, however, his face fell. "No Mawia!" he cried, his eyes tearing up with frustration. "Jus' stupid empy eggs!" and in his anger, he kicked the nest, which did indeed posses nothing but eggshells, off the branch.

It fell to the ground, where an interested Espio picked up the eggshells. "Eggies!" he said, holding up his prize so Dr. Eggman could see them.

"I see that, but—"

"I wike eggies," Espio continued. "I eat em all up. In my tummy!"

"That's nice, but—"

Predictably to most child caretakers, of which Eggman certainly did not qualify to be, Espio shoved the eggshells in his mouth and started chewing.

"Spit that out!" Eggman ordered, holding his hand out. Obediently, Espio spit the eggshells out into Eggman's hand. A look that was a cross between disgust and pure horror crossed Eggman's face, and he dropped the shells like they were radioactive and wiped his hand on his pants, trying to get baby drool off.

"Yuck," Eggman muttered. "Now, if we're all done playing games, I'd like to look for the Chaos Emeralds now."

Sonic's ears perked up. "Games? I wike games. Hidey seek. No it!" And before Eggman could grab him, Sonic rushed into the thick foliage and disappeared.

Eggman looked at the area Sonic had rushed off into, wondering if he should go after him. The scientist shrugged. "He'll show up sooner or later," he said. "He always does."

Knuckles chose this opportunity to punch Eggman again. "Givvies Massa Emered!" he snapped.

"Gah!"

In retrospect, Eggman would have to admit to himself later on that "Gah!" was not a very intelligent statement to come out of one's mouth. But when push comes to shove, it's very hard to think of a brilliant speech while a two-year-old is busy fracturing your kneecap. So, "Gah!" would have to do for now.

Hopping up and down on his other, relatively uninjured knee, Eggman yelled, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU KIDS?!"

Shadow kicked him.

Bleep Bleep. Bleep Bleep.

It's no secret that should an organic person start hearing a beeping sound inside his head that it was time to see a psychiatrist. For us androids, however, it merely meant that someone was trying to contact me on my internal communications unit.

For all you non-android types, that means I have a built-in cell phone. I also have a free internet connection, but there's no reason to brag about my superiority. Some other time, perhaps. When I'm not freaking out because my kids are in mortal peril or something.

I activated my comm. unit and stated, "Robo Knuckles, this had better be good."

How do I know it was Robo Knuckles? Simple. He's the only one who ever calls me whenever I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't know how he determines when the exact wrong time to call is; he just knows. It's uncanny.

"Um, Metal Sonic, you remember how you wanted me to find out about Zombie?"

A bad feeling entered the pit of my fuel tank. "Is he dangerous?"

"Well…yes and no."

I motioned for Shadow Android to keep searching the area for the stupid plastic bubble thing of Eggman's while I continued my talk with Robo Knuckles. "Make up your mind. Is he a threat or not?"

"Well…see, according to this, Zombie was originally designed to be a pet," Robo Knuckles said. "Believe it or not, that Chao's older than Shadow. And I don't mean just now, although technically he's older than Shadow now, too, but before Shadow was like he is now, Zombie was older so…"

"Robo Knuckles!" I interrupted, not at all feeling in the mood to listen to his ramblings. "Get. To. The. Point."

"Alright already, don't be so pushy!" Robo Knuckles took a deep breath and continued. "Professor Robotnik made Zombie with the intent of making the perfect pet for his then two-year-old granddaughter Maria. According to the reports, she was hyper and well, most pets couldn't handle her…unique brand of love."

Good night, the Professor did create Zombie for a hyperactive pet-abusing toddler. Who knew?

"I'm guessing something went wrong." I said, looking around. Shadow Android and I were coming up on some sort of rainforest. It looked like a good spot for Eggman to hide, so we'd definitely be checking it out.

"You got that right. The Prof. got the idea to mix and match the three brands of Chao to create one super Chao who could take anything any kid could throw at it and keep coming. Zombie was the end result."

"And?"

"Well, see, the process worked, but not the way Prof. wanted it to," Robo Knuckles continued. "Zombie's got a super high IQ for a Chao. He's also highly empathic, according to the tests. But he's not exactly the prettiest Chao around. Heck, I wouldn't even call him an ugly Chao. It would be an insult to ugly Chao everywhere, you know?"

"You are not getting to the point."

"Maria couldn't stand the sight of him. Prof. said Zombie scared the bajeebers out of her. Mind you, it says that exact word in the report. I don't know what a 'bajeeber' is and I wouldn't make this up…"

"Robo Knuckles…" I warned. Shadow Android was waving me over from a distance. Maybe he'd found something. I started towards him hopefully.

"I know, I know, 'get to the point.' Well, Zombie couldn't take being spurned like that. He felt Maria's contempt for him and well, he freaked. Sort of like he's freaking now. Gerald said that the thing made the BioLizard look like Bambi, it was so crazy. They finally managed to trap it inside some special alloy. Zombie stayed there for 65-plus years without aging until Sonic found him."

I put the pieces of the puzzle together as I flew. "Sonic's probably the only kid in the universe who'll ever be able to like Zombie in spite of his appearance. And because of Zombie's IQ, he knows that. And now Sonic's disappeared without a trace…" No wonder Zombie was freaking out.

"Yeah. So I kind of need your advice here. Professor Robotnik described what happened when Zombie went psycho on him. The physical change was stage 1. Unnatural howls is stage 2. Stage 3 will be trying to destroy everything he can get his hands on. And I don't know what kind of alloy Gerald used to trap Zombie the last time!"

"You can't shoot him?"

"Um, Prof. Robotnik designed him to be invincible to anything a toddler could possibly do to him."

"That includes laser cannon fire?" I asked incredulously.

"OK, here's another direct quote from the report: 'With this kid, I wouldn't rule anything out.' Unquote."

Hmm. Well, I did know where the professor was coming from. If Sonic showed up one day with a laser cannon and started to shoot stuff with it, I would not be at all surprised.

"If Zombie saw Sonic, would he stop freaking out?" I asked.

"I'm…not sure. I think so. That is, provided we have Sonic back before he goes to stage 3. If we don't, Zombie will literally tear the whole planet apart in a matter of days."

Shoot. "OK, Robo Knuckles, evacuate the remaining children to a new location. That will buy us some time before they are in dire danger from Zombie. Shadow Android and I will find the children. When found, I will bring Sonic to Zombie. Sonic is the only one who has a chance of stopping him now."

"Roger. You probably have about twenty minutes before stage 3 starts. Because frankly, if Sonic hasn't come back to him by then, it probably won't matter if Sonic comes at all. Zombie will be too freaked to care."

I winced. Twenty minutes did not give us a lot of time. I terminated my connection with Robo Knuckles and reached Shadow Android at the same time.

"You found something?" I asked.

Shadow Android pointed down through the foliage to where Eggman's plastic bubble thing was. I felt a surge of hope; there was enough time to get Sonic back if we found him now!

The two of us flew down to the clearing to see a disheveled and astonishingly, clear-faced Dr. Eggman with four of the children. He looked up at us and a look of pure joy crossed his face.

"At last!" He said. "You've come to save me! Take these little brats while I go find a way to reverse my Mini-Eggafier Ray to change them back to normal. The adult versions weren't this much of a pest to me!"

He shoved Shadow's paw in mine and turned to his plastic bubble thing. I looked at the four children—four? Weren't there five? Where—Oh, no…

"Where is Sonic?" I asked, my optics widening.

Eggman shrugged as he powered up his machine. "He wandered off. Good riddance." And then he flew off.

No, no, no…this is bad on many multiple levels. "Shadow Android," I said. "You take these four and find Robo Knuckles. Get our children to a safe location and protect them for as long as possible."

"What about you?" Shadow Android asked.

"I am going to find Sonic," I said. "Don't worry; I have spent decades hunting that hedgehog. I know how he thinks. I will find him." I charged into the foliage, calling for Sonic.

I have fifteen minutes. I hope that is enough time.

* * *

Chapter End Notes:

Well what do you know. Zombie is a playful pet and a rampaging bio weapon. Versatile little creepy Chao, isn't he?


	10. Chapter 10

My internal countdown has determined I have 13:23:45 minutes left. Finding Sonic is proving to be harder than even I had imagined. Most people don't realize that Sonic leaves a faint trail behind him whenever he reaches supersonic speed. (Is it just me, or is that word one heck of an ironic coincidence?)

Most organics and even many robots cannot notice this trail the hedgehog leaves behind; it is astonishingly faint and subtle. I'm sure it's the stealthiest thing that Sonic has ever left behind in his life; everything else he does makes it look like a twister hit the place whenever he leaves the premises.

Even so, after the countless years I have spent tracking, studying, and fighting Sonic the Hedgehog, in many ways I know him better than he knows himself. My optics are so attuned to the unique path that Sonic's speed makes that by now, following his trail is as easy as tracking a herd of elephants.

This time, however, it is proving to be much more difficult to follow Sonic's trail than normal. His drastic reduction in size has made the path he creates even more subtle than before. On top of that, the trail seems to disappear at times and is amazingly erratic, even more so than normal.

I had not previously believed that it was possible for Sonic's trail to get more erratic and illogical; but even a highly advance android such as I am capable of being wrong, shocking as that may seem.

To summarize what I have been trying to say, it was taking a painstakingly long time to track Sonic the Hedgehog down; and time was a luxury I could not afford. And not simply because of Zombie's threatened rampage; the longer Sonic remained in this jungle, the more likely it was that some hostile animal would get to him before I did.

On the other hand, if I left Sonic's trail, not only might I not find him, but I might lose the trail altogether, forcing me to go back to the clearing. If that happened, there would be no hope of finding Sonic in time.

After analyzing my choices, I finally decided that I should leave the trail. The odds of my catching up to Sonic by following this tricky and deceitful path of his was astronomical. My only chance was that I did, in fact, know as much about the way Sonic the Hedgehog thinks as I thought I did.

Strange. Under normal circumstances, I had always known that I could find Sonic with little or no trouble. It had been the subsequent battle with him that had worried me. Now it was a stark reversal: I knew that if I found Sonic, there was a high probability that he could come back with me willingly. It was finding him that was the problem. Yet another ironic twist that, should I still be functioning after this was over, I would no doubt find highly amusing.

11:53:07 minutes remained. I had come upon some ancient ruins and pulled up short. If my memory served, there was a 95.5 percent chance that Sonic the Hedgehog was somewhere in the ruins. Another lesser known fact about the cobalt blue creature was that Sonic loved, loved, loved to explore ancient ruins. He was not a treasure hunter; he rarely, if ever, took anything out of the sites he explored. Sonic was not a material person. He simply liked to see what was inside unknown regions. Find out what kind of mysteries they obtained. Purposely spring traps to see if it would turn out to be something neat that he would have to outrun. Things like that.

This love of exploring hard-to-reach areas was the singular reason that Sonic was so amazingly good at finding Chaos Emeralds before the doctor. The emeralds almost always returned to ruins or damp caves after they spread out whenever Sonic used all seven at once. Eggman never made the connection; and I never informed him of it, because if he's so all-fired smart he should be able to figure it out himself.

If I knew Sonic the Hedgehog, he would have gone into the ruins. If I didn't know him, the world was toast. I don't know if you've ever had to rely on your knowledge of someone else in order to save the entire planet, but trust me. The feeling is decidedly unpleasant.

Holding my proverbial breath, I swooped down and scanned the entryway for Sonic's trail.

Yes! It was faint, but it was quite apparent that Sonic had entered the ruins. And quite recently, too. This discovery not only gave me a faint chance of saving the planet, but also—and perhaps more importantly—allowed me to keep my bragging rights on how well I knew Sonic the Hedgehog.

Now all I have to do is scour the miles of ancient ruins, find Sonic, and get him back to Zombie in exactly 9:59:36 minutes. Extremely close, but doable.

I entered the ruins and realized that here, Sonic's trail branched off in several different directions. Apparently, once inside, the toddler had run up and down and sideways and beside and behind and every other which way he could think of in order to see the inside of the building. This would make finding him a good deal more difficult; I would now have to guess at which pathway he was currently on and hope I found him soon.

I felt a strong, powerful object somewhere in the distance down the path to my immediate left. I decided that would be my first path; one of Sonic's trails led down it, and besides, perhaps the pull of the item—more than likely a Chaos Emerald—would have attracted Sonic, as well. Or perhaps he had stopped to stare at it because it was shiny.

Sonic always liked to stare at shiny things, even before he'd been infantized.

I went down the pathway and eventually found myself in a large inner chamber with a large pedestal in the middle. Lying in the pedestal was the silver/white Chaos Emerald, but Sonic was nowhere to be found.

I sighed and looked around. The room was a dead end, but I saw that Sonic's trail led to a wall at the far end of the wall and stopped cold. There did not seem to be a trail leaving the room. I walked over to the wall and inspected it. One of the bricks was an odd color; a lighter texture than the others. I pressed my hand on it and a section of the wall opened up, revealing a small, closet-like area with a small blue hedgehog curled up inside it.

"Sonic," I called.

The toddler's eyes, which showed redness and wet streaks that were sure signs of tears, opened quickly and he saw me. A look of pure joy crossed his face and he rushed to me, throwing his arms around my midsection.

"Shiny Sonic!" the Toddler gushed happily. "You foundid me! I thought I was lostest for ever ever."

"I would never let you get lost forever," I stated simply. "Now, we must go back home. Zombie misses you terribly and wants you to come back."

Sonic nodded. "I wanties Ombie, too," he said matter-of-factly. "I is go give him presents."

Before I could stop him, Sonic ran to the pedestal and grabbed the Chaos Emerald. "See? Is pwetty wock, an' is jus wike Ombie! All wite!"

Sonic was so busy staring at the white Chaos Emerald that he didn't notice that the pedestal was starting to sink behind him. I did, however. I kicked my turbo boosters to full gear and grabbed Sonic, pulling him out of the way as the ground under him cracked and fell, forming a deep abyss. A giant, rocklike hand reached up from it, and a Guardian appeared.

It was nearly as big as the entire state of Texas, give or take a few miles. OK, actually, it couldn't have been bigger than a ten story building, but that was still extremely large. Much larger than any living rock had any right to be. Although, come to think of it, rocks don't have much business being alive, when you come right down to it.

In spite of the impossibleness of its height and life, the Rock Guardian looked around, zeroing in on his target: An adorably cute hedgehog toddler, with an incriminating Chaos Emerald clutched in his paws.

I zoomed out of the way just as the Guardian roared and raised his fist, smashing the area where Sonic and I had been mere moments before. I set Sonic down in a small crevasse so I could fight. My ion blasters activated as I turned to the Guardian.

"If you injure this child," I told him coldly, "it will be over my rusted hull!"

The Guardian seemed to agree with these terms, because he raised his fists again and tried to flatten me into paste. I zoomed out of the way again and fired my blasters. He merely absorbed the blasts and kept coming.

The shock of seeing him absorb a bloody ion blast made me pause for a fraction of a second. It was just enough time for him to smack me with the flat of his hands.

It was just a glancing blow; had he hit me head on he would have smashed my body to bits. As it was, however, he caused my warning sirens to go off and my body to start smoking heavily. My left rocket booster suffered the most damage; it was spluttering and barely functional.

I reeled from the blow, and cleared my vision, in time to see the Guardian raise his fists again. This time, I managed to roll out of the way, but only barely. I felt the wind come off his hands even as I rolled and forced my protesting rocket boosters to lift me back into the air.

Once in the air, I scanned the Rock Guardian, looking for any potential weaknesses. I saw that there was a weak point in the middle of its forehead, but it would be difficult for me to attack it. It would require split-second timing, and with the damage my body had taken, I was unsure if I was capable of performing such a feat.

However, I would do it. The image of what this thing wanted to do to Sonic was more than enough incentive to do what had to be done.

Activating my ion cannons once more, I flew as close as I could get to the Guardian, and, at the last possible second, I shot him right between the eyes.

The Guardian squealed and stumbled back. Then he clasped his hands together and smashed the ground under me with all his might.

Had I a mouth I would have smirked; apparently, this Guardian had a primitive intelligence that kept him from realizing that you cannot hit a flying target by smashing the ground under him. I lined up another shot and hit him again.

The Guardian screamed, although it seemed to be more in anger than in actual pain, and looked directly at me. He unceremoniously clapped his hands together, creating a shockwave that came right at me. I was lining up another shot at the time; that fact and the fact that my rocket boosters were only functioning at 62 percent capacity kept me from getting out of the way.

The shockwave hit me head on, sending me flying backwards out of control until the wall stopped my backwards momentum. I had thought my internal warning alarm had been going off before; now it was positively deafening. My systems analysis was grim: I had completely lost all use of my right arm, my internal battery was running on backup power, and my use of my rocket boosters had gone down another 24 percent. Above me, the Rock Guardian clasped his hands together again and poised to smash me with all his might. And in my condition, I would be unable to dodge him in time.

I cringed, awaiting my inevitable fate, when a small blue ball hit the Rock Guardian on the side of the head. It was not damaging to the creature; but it was distracting.

The blue thing bounced off and landed at the edge of the crevasse with an 'oomph!' When it stopped moving, it was revealed to be a little Sonic the Hedgehog, still partially curled from his ineffective spin dash. The toddler rubbed his head, where a good-sized lump was forming, and glared at the Rock Guardian.

"You is bad!" Sonic informed the Guardian. "You is need time outs!"

Apparently, the Rock Guardian was not fond of the idea of a time out; for it turned its attention to Sonic, raising his palm to smash the child.

This, for the briefest amounts of time, left me with a clear shot to its forehead.

Mustering the last of my strength, I commanded my failing body to shoot the forehead area one last time. A single ion beam was the result, hitting the Rock Guardian squarely on the forehead.

The Guardian gave an agonizing shriek and fell back into the abyss. And this time, it did not come back up.

In an instant, Sonic was beside me, clutching his white Chaos Emerald, not bothering to stop the tears that were running freely down his cheeks. "You is hurt?" he asked, barely above a whisper.

I did not bother to answer; instead I was checking my body's ability to function, as well as the amount of time remaining.

We had 1:07:59 minutes left. And with my rocket boosters only performing at 38 percent maximum capacity, there was simply no way I could make it back to the hideout with Sonic in time.

I had failed.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Chapter Notes:

Lion King. Bambi. Tarzan. If Disney is such a nice children's company, what's with the cold-hearted desire to kill off Mommy Deer, Daddy Lions, and Baby Gorillas?

* * *

In spite of receiving direct orders to take the four children and go, Shadow Android had stayed in the clearing with the children. After all, where could he go that could possibly be safer than here? And even if he went, how could he possibly take four children with him? It's not like he could carry them all.

Shadow Android had been surprised at both the order to leave and the illogic that Metal Sonic had shown by giving out that order. Of Eggman's three bots, Metal Sonic had always been the most logical and cunning. He must either be suffering a catastrophic core failure or be completely unhinging from the stress of taking care of their collective children.

Shadow Android rather hoped it was the former; he knew how to fix a core meltdown. Unfortunately, a stress-related malfunction was much more likely. Metal Sonic couldn't take chaos and disorder very well. Heck, it was a wonder he could handle Robo Knuckles.

"Shady Andy, I is hungy," whined Espio, tugging on his leg transistor. Shadow Android's thought processors came back to the matter at hand: caring for the children currently in his possession. The robot looked around, his optics zeroing in on a bunch of bananas hanging from a tree branch. He knew that bananas were a relatively safe choice to feed children, so he flew up and grabbed one for each child, then flew down, handing his charges his bounty.

Knuckles grabbed his banana and punched his fist through the peel, causing the banana to rip open and for the insides to squish into a pasty substance, which he proceeded to lick off of his hands happily.

This unique way of peeling and eating a banana was rather… disturbing, for lack of a better word. Shadow Android watched Knuckles intently, perhaps for the same morbid reason organic Shadow found shooting people and aliens with big guns intriguing. One would have to ask them that question, and since there was nobody was around who could remember what the word 'morbid' meant save Shadow Android, the question went unasked, and so we shall never know.

Shadow Android was snapped out of his reverie by Silver, who held up his banana to him and said, "Op."

Shadow Android focused his optics on the child and asked, "Please restate the question."

"Op!" Silver demanded louder.

Shadow Android suddenly realized that Silver was demanding him to peel his banana for him. Taking the fruit, Shadow Android preformed the desired action and handed the peeled banana back to Silver, who shoved half of hit in his mouth and tried to chew. It was tough going for him because he couldn't completely close his mouth with all that banana in there, though.

Shadow Android sighed, then his attention was drawn to one of Eggman's battleships, which had appeared out of nowhere and was starting to land. Shadow Android's ion cannons powered up instinctively, the bot himself wondering if Eggman had changed his mind yet again.

The door opened and who should step out but Robo Knuckles, holding Rouge and Tails' hands, while Shadow Android could see the other children looking out from the doorway curiously.

"Robo Knuckles?" Shadow Android asked disbelievingly. "What are you doing here?"

"Metal Sonic told me to take the other kids somewhere safe," Robo Knuckles explained. "And I figured that the safest place in the world right now would be with Metal Sonic, because he's sort of psychotic when it comes to defending stuff. And with these kids, he's become even more psycho than normal."

Shadow Android stared at Robo Knuckles for a long second, his internal processors wondering how they could have possibly have been created on the same assembly line.

Perhaps Robo Knuckles was a second-hand robot. Yes, he would simply go with that.

"Speaking of Psycho Sonic," Robo Knuckles continued, oblivious of Shadow Android's mental disownment of him, "where is he, anyway?"

"Sonic disappeared into the woods. Metal Sonic went after him," Shadow Android explained.

Robo Knuckles looked worried. "Has he found him yet?"

"I am uncertain. Metal Sonic's internal comm. unit does not appear to be functioning," Shadow Android admitted.

Robo Knuckles gulped. "We're scrap," he said gloomily.

'We're scrap,' I thought glumly as I clutched Sonic. We had 0:59:32 seconds left. I couldn't make it back to the lair now even if I had been at full capacity. My back-up battery had been hit in the battle and now it was draining much faster than normal.

Sonic, who had no idea of the severity of the situation, tapped me on the shoulder and asked, in all innocence, "We go seein' Ombie nows?"

"Sonic," I said, knowing he would have to face the bitter truth, "I don't think we can go see Zombie anymore."

Sonic's emerald green eyes widened and teared up. "I want Ombie," he whimpered, clenching his hand around the white Chaos Emerald—the boy's present for his pet. "I WANT OMBIE!" Sonic sobbed louder, and for a fraction of a second, the Emerald seemed to shine brighter.

All of a sudden, an answer appeared to me, stunningly simple should it work. Sonic was capable of Chaos Control, right? He had done it once before. And the toddlers had already proven to possess the same abilities they'd had as adults…

"Sonic," I said, "you can Chaos Control to Zombie!"

Sonic cocked his head to the side and a confused look came over his face. "Is dat?"

Oh, scrap. He doesn't remember what Chaos Control is, much less how to do it. That made things very difficult, because I had not the slightest idea how Chaos Control worked. And since Sonic and Shadow were the only two people in the world who knew how to do it, it wasn't like I could simply look it up on the internet. I mean, I'm certain Sonic hadn't posted a blog on how he'd used Chaos Control or anything and…

…Hey, look at that. Sonic had put up a blog on how he'd used Chaos Control. Although we now had less than forty seconds left, I shook my head ruefully. Geez, Sonic was always eager to brag. I created a mental file stating that I should never allow Sonic to realize that his bragging on his 'super awesome Chaos thingamajig powers' (this is a direct quote from the blog) may have saved the world. If he ever learned, we'd never hear the end of it.

"Sonic," I said, wrapping his hands around the Chaos Emerald in the proper position. "I want you to think very hard about Zombie. Do you remember exactly where you left him?"

Sonic closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "He is in beddies go takin' nappies," he replied.

"Remember what the bedroom looked like?"

"Uh-huh."

"Now, think about being in that room with Zombie right now, ok?" I continued my instructions. Sonic frowned, then nodded.

"Okies," he finally replied.

I took a deep breath and finished, "Now say, 'Chaos Control.'"

"Cow Toll!" Sonic said obligingly, and a white energy field enveloped us both, and I my sensors picked up a massive surge of energy that nearly overloaded my systems. It was over as quickly as it started, and thankfully, Sonic and I found ourselves in the bedroom Sonic had been trying to…uh…Cow Toll too.

Sonic looked around eagerly. Zombie was in the far corner of the room, but with his newly aquired crimson skin and clawed appearance, Sonic didn't recognize him. For his own part, Zombie's back was turned to us and so didn't see us.

There was only five seconds left! I had to get Zombie's attention on Sonic before it was too late!

Luckily, Sonic took care of that for me. "Ombies?" he called aloud. "Where is you? We goin' go pway nows, nappies all ober!"

Zombie whirled around and his eyes focused in on Sonic. I saw a spark of recognition in them, and slowly, his body returned to normal. For Zombie.

"CHAAAAAAOOOOOOO!" he called, as his skin turned white enough for Sonic to realize that he was, in fact, the toddler's beloved Zombie.

"OMBIES!" Sonic squealed with glee, throwing his arms wide as Zombie flew to him, and Sonic gave him a big, normal-Chao-bone-dislocating hug that the cobalt blue hedgehog was famous for.

When the hug was over, Zombie flew backwards and cooed happily, with Sonic grinning at him. "Comeys, Ombie," Sonic instructed, grabbing Zombie by his left foot. "Wets go pway."

The boy proceeded to drag Zombie off by his foot, out the room and down a large flight of stairs. The Chao's head hit every stair on the way down, making an odd 'thumping' sound. Just before they disappeared into the makeshift living room, Zombie made eye contact with me and gave me a big, toothy grin.

It was nice that Sonic and Zombie were both happy again. But Zombie still sort of creeps me out.


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Chapter Notes:

There are two kinds of pedestrians—the quick and the dead.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent repairing my systems, getting back in touch with Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android, and bringing the other kids back so they could eat dinner and go to bed. It had been a very long day, and none of us had charged completely last night, so sleep was long overdue for all of us.

As soon as the others got back, Shadow was very eagerly reunited with his pet Maria. Their reunion was just as happy—but not as Chao abusing—as Sonic and Zombie's.

"Mawia!" Shadow squealed as the Dark Chao flew towards him. He ran to her and the two embraced. "I tinkin' I is never ever seeies you gain!" Shadow continued.

Maria cooed and started to purr.

"That's so beautiful," Robo Knuckles said, wiping a spot of oil that had appeared at the corner of his smelling sensors and rubbing it off on Shadow Android's hull.

Shadow Android gave him a nasty look and stomped off, presumably to get the oil off of his body.

"BTW, where's Sonic and Zombie?" Robo Knuckles continued as if nothing had happened.

I cocked my head, my internal processors whirring. "BTW?" I asked.

"Yeah."

Having been offered no further information, I dismissed his acronym and replied, "They are both fell sound asleep a few minutes ago."

Robo Knuckles nodded. "Yeah, I guess running through a giant forest and getting prepped to destroy the world would tucker you out," he admitted.

We were just preparing breakfast when Eggman showed up again, a large water pistol in his fist.

"Finally, I managed to reverse the polarity of my Eggafier Ray, thereby making it turn toddlers into adults," Eggman said grandly.

Robo Knuckles scratched his head. "You mean you flipped the switch from 'baby' to 'adult?'"

Eggman's face turned red as a beet. It's a good look for him, though if I had to pick a plant for Eggman to be I'd say he's more of a turnip. He opened his mouth and started spluttering, "N-no, of course not! I had to do a big, scientificy thing!"

Robo Knuckles cocked his head. "Well, that was stupid, since you could have just switched the setting from 'baby' to 'adult,'" he said.

"Silence, you!" Eggman yelled, striking one of those stupid poses he does whenever talking. I swear, it's more lame than that stupid 'Power Rangers' show, which happens to be the only thing that Robo Knuckles, Shadow Android, and I all completely agree on.

"Now," Eggman continued, "You three take those brats back to Prower's workshop and change them back, so they won't remember where our secret base is."

"If you don't wish anyone to know where our secret base is, Master, perhaps you should take down the large neon arrow which states 'Eggman's base' pointing at the door outside," Shadow Android suggested.

"I LIKE that arrow!" Eggman snapped. "Now, go do as I ask and don't question your superiors!"

I hate not being able to roll my eyes. It would be so wonderful to be able to do that now.

The children were quite eager to go on another plane ride, and in a half an hour we were in Mystic Ruins, outside of Tails' workshop.

"Let's get this over with," I said, knowing I had to do it quickly before I lost my nerve. "Put the children in the living room; we will stand outside and simultaneously shoot the whole house, changing them all back to adults at once."

Immediately, Zombie flew in front of Sonic and hissed at us, his eyes starting to change color.

We stopped and stared at the Chao. This was not normal behavior for him. But he seemed intent on keeping us away from Sonic, simultaneously keeping Sonic away from Tails' workshop.

"You don't think he understands what we're trying to do, do you?" Robo Knuckles suggested.

I had to admit, it made sense. Zombie's intelligence was extremely high. It would not surprise me if he heard and understood everything we were saying and the implications of it.

After all, if Sonic was changed back into an adult and couldn't remember having 'adopted' Zombie, why would he ever care about keeping him?

As this was the most logical explanation of Zombie's recent desire to keep us away from Sonic and Sonic away from the building we were going to use to change him back, I spoke directly to the Chao.

"Zombie," I said, and I could swear he was listening to me. "I know Sonic better than anybody. And I can teach you something that will make him love you no matter how often he forgets he knew you. After all, it will only be a matter of time before someone changes him back."

Zombie seemed to consider this, then he gave me that dopey grin and moved away from Sonic, giving us his permission to change the hedgehog back to normal.

I turned to the others. "You two proceed with the plan. I will be in the kitchen teaching Zombie a new skill."

It took about twenty minutes to get all twelve toddlers in Tails' living room and to stay put. By that time, I had completed my training with Zombie. The Chao was just as intelligent as I had thought; he'd picked up the new skill with amazing ease. But now it was time to see if our collective plan—to change them all back at once and to make sure Sonic kept Zombie—would succeed.

I left Zombie in the kitchen, exiting the house and nodding to the others. "Are we ready?"

"As we'll ever be," Shadow Android admitted.

Robo Knuckles sighed sadly. "I wish we could have kept them," he said.

Truthfully, I was disappointed that we could not keep them, as well, but I did not voice my opinion. Without Eggman's consent, we would never be able to care for them.

I raised my water pistol and said, "On my mark."

My counterparts raised their own Eggafier Rays and took aim.

I took a deep breath and said, "Now." We all shot at once.

Shadow the Hedgehog couldn't remember how he'd gotten to Tails' workshop. He certainly didn't understand why he was lying under Vector Crocodile, who looked like he was wondering the same thing.

Tails' workshop was rather small, especially his living room area, so when the 12 kids returned to their adult forms, there really wasn't enough room for them.

"What are you people doing in my house?" Tails shrieked from somewhere, although his voice was muffled because Silver's elbow was shoved half-way up his throat.

Interestingly enough, Sonic and Amy were now pressed against each other, Sonic's arms halfway wrapped around Amy's waist. This was, of course, the first thing Amy took notice of.

"Sonniku!" She half squealed, half-gushed. "I knew you loved me!"

Sonic suddenly realized how close he was and his mouth opened in protest, but before any noise came out, Amy reached up and kissed him square on the lips.

Sonic gave a startled squeak and started trying to wipe Amy slobber off of his lips, stumbling backwards as he did. This meant he tripped over Espio, who was wondering how he'd ended up lying down on Tails' floor, and right into Rouge the Bat, who was trying to remove her leg from where it had gotten tangled in Cream's ear in some confusing manner.

"Hey!" Rouge said, as Sonic plowed into her and they both fell over.

Amy was suddenly livid. "You two-timing swine!" She yelled, pulling out her Piko Piko hammer and hitting Sonic over the head with it. Sonic yelped and tried to protect his head with his hands, running and stumbling through the mass of tangled bodies and ultimately ending up in the kitchen.

The two hedgehogs stopped at the doorway as they got an eyeful of the kitchen's occupant: A rather disturbing looking white Chao with a chef's hat hanging awkwardly on his head.

"What is that!?" Amy screamed, dropping her Piko Piko hammer in shock.

Zombie, realizing that his Sonic, though older, was staring at him in open-mouthed shock, quickly turned at started to utilize the new skill that was guaranteed to make Sonic love him.

The Chao flew to the cabinet, grabbed some canned chili, opened it, then ripped open a package of hot dog buns, placed a hot dog on a bun, poured a liberal amount of chili on it, and popped it in the microwave. Pushing a few buttons, Zombie waited for it to beep, then he removed the chili dog and presented it to Sonic.

A startled silence greeted him for a few minutes, and Zombie began to fear that it hadn't worked. Then Sonic grinned like a maniac and grabbed the chili dog.

"It's a freaking awesome chili dog maker!" Sonic said, absolutely thrilled as he shoved the chili dog in his mouth.

Knuckles the Echidna finally managed to untangle himself from Charmy and took a good, skeptical look at the Chao. "Looks like a zombie to me," Knuckles said dryly.

"Oh what do you know?" Sonic asked. "You're brain's scrambled from staring at that shiny rock all day."

Knuckles started growling. "The Master Cantaloupe is not a rock!" he yelled.

Another awkward silence reigned as everyone stared at Knuckles. Then Sonic burst out laughing.

"See, I told you your brain was fried," he said when he could catch his breath. "You just totally called it the Master Cantaloupe!"

Knuckles' face turned redder, if that was possible. "I—I did not!" he spluttered.

"Did too," Sonic taunted.

Knuckles' clenched his fists and turned, stomping out of Tails' workshop.

"I agree with Knuckles," Amy said when he had left. "It looks like a zombie to me."

The Chao flew over to Sonic and sat on his shoulders, since he was fairly certain that Sonic would keep him now. He looked over at Amy and stuck his tongue out. Finally, he leaned forward and gave her a big, slobbery lick on the cheek.

"Eeew!" Amy said, completely grossed out. "It licked me! I'll probably get a disease!" With that, she turned and raced out of Tails' house.

Sonic's grin got bigger. The white Chao had not only made him a freaking chili dog, he'd also single handedly gotten rid of Amy Rose for him. Yes, Sonic was definitely keeping this Chao around.

Rubbing the top of the Chao's head absentmindedly, Sonic mused. "So they think you're a zombie, huh? Well, I think Zombie's a good name for you. It fits. Don't you think so, bud?"

Zombie gave Sonic a happy smile and started to coo.

I had watched the whole thing from a limb on one of the trees outside the window, where the foliage kept me hidden from view. I was relieved that Sonic had actually decided to keep Zombie; one threatened rampage was quite enough for my tastes.

I turned to Robo Knuckles and Shadow Android and said, "Our objective is finally complete. Shall we return to base?"

Shadow Android nodded, his optics still fixated inside the workshop. Robo Knuckles sighed once more and muttered a half-hearted "Ok."

As we flew away, I had to admit to myself that if Eggman ordered us to turn them back into children again, I'd do it in a heartbeat. However, I don't believe he'll be ordering us to do that again any time soon. At least not until his mustache grew out again.


End file.
